i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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