i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
