I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
