of course. lets lasso hookers.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
