I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize