He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
