he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
