and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
