1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
