Grow some girl-balls and come out already
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
