I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
