I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize