Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
