what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
