Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So many bounce houses so little time
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
