absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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