East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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