bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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