I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
