That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
