my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
