I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Randomize
