What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
