We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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