In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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