Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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