Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
