Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
