I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
