Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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