this just has baby written all over it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
