Tell her she can't have a vagina
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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