Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
