Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
