I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize