my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
