Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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