you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
