Sry I called you an 8
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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