i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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