I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
