smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
