I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
