it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
