at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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