I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
