Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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