I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
