It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
