NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
