yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
