i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
