1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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