i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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