This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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