yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
