If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
